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How to make love – ET-style

Sex, touching every cell in your being and communing with the inter-dimensional, Cosmos. Reach so deeply into your partner until your souls meet, revealing the structure and purpose of Creation and your existence.

Sex. If it really was only about round pegs in round holes then it would be simple.

But it ain't so. It's more complex than apple bobbing, more perilous than diving for pearls. One fatal slip and yesterday's A-List celebrity is demoted to today's F-List.

While Flaccid Fred and Incontinent Isaac get all of Agony Auntie's attention, the oh's and woes of Fallacious Frieda and Cunning Lionel go right over her head. Humping, pumping sex decathletes also have troubles – it's Bosnia in the Bedroom out there.

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - heard that line? Or that a woman is a 3-speed bike, slow to start and finish? Or that a man is 28-gear bike, over the finish line as soon as the starting pistol goes bang? Real Sex is much more complicated than that, maybe it will seem alien.

Sex isn't just about creating a bit of woody woodpecker friction to create a holy bush fire. It's not even only about emotional intimacy. It's so much more - it's inter-dimensional.

Next time you have a chance at a lay-up shot, to dunk the ol' basketball in the hoop, make it count. Know what you are doing. For God's sake, do your mission and move the human race to the next level of evolution! The Extra-Terrestrial Nations are counting on you - not to mention your partner who longs for a fully universal communion every night.

After 11 years of Oshana Enlightenment Teaching, it's time to teach you the ABC's of Alien Sex. I hope I can see this mission through. The Kama Sutra is just the beginning of Tantra.

A world first, live online only at DaveOshana.com on January 15th, 2012. The only chance - there might never be a return match.

Note: This is an audio class. Prepare yourself by reading the Orientation which will be emailed to you upon booking. Lecture starts about 5:15pm (Helsinki time). Oshana Consciousness CD music starts playing at 4pm (Helsinki time) before class and continues after the lecture at approximately 6:20pm (Helsinki time). Please arrive early if you are new, on a new network or need technical support. Total talk time will be a minimum of 1 hour.

Technical advice which most listeners do not need to know because they unknowingly have it already configured:  Flashplayer needs to be installed and Port 8464 needs to be open on your network. iPad is currently unsupported for audio streams because Apple blocked Flashplayer but you can request the MP3 replay download of this class.